by Zander Nyrond

 

We who lead the C of E

Are taking baby steps towards equality.

Women priests were quite a shock,

And lots of old reactionaries left the flock.

Hard to see what we've achieved;

They still say we're irrelevant and won't believe.

Expectations far too high--

They never will be satisfied, so we won't try!

 

CHORUS

We won't try, we won't try,

They can whistle for their bishops 'cause we just won't try!

 

Cancer takes a deadly toll

And curing it for ever is our sacred goal

Provided that the cure we seek

Is complicated, copyright and coming next week.

A total cure would be too rash

And also would deprive us of a ton of cash

So while we hate to see you die,

We've got to make a living so we'd best not try.

 

CHORUS

Best not try, best not try,

It'll never make a profit so we'd best not try!

 

Cows are dying of TB

And the government has hit upon a remedy

Vaccination's far too dear;

The scientists support it but we just don't hear.

Let each farmer grab his gun

And blaze away at badgers 'cause it's much more fun.

Let not one damn brock pass by,

How many of them can we make--

 

Oh, I'm terribly sorry, I seem to have wandered off the song.

 

CHORUS

Best not try, best not try,

We love the hunting lobby so we'd best not try!